I have always looked at a wedding from a sceptical point of view. Both my grandmothers got divorced just after my mum and dad were born, and so they would fit perfectly current statistics… in the 1950s, though! Similarly, my mum managed to get divorced twice during my childhood. No wonder that my then boyfriend and I started attending seminars as soon as I turned 20, to learn more about relationships and intimacy. It made so much sense to me that I even started teaching in this field. Thanks to this, I was able to see, among other things, that many couples are going through difficult periods, especially after their children are born. This estrangement, misunderstanding and lack of intimacy is similar to what my grandparents and parents experienced, too.
I was so happy at my job that for quite a long time, I’d been telling myself that I probably didn’t need to have children at all. Why would I sacrifice something that makes so much sense to me and helps to so many people, only for some whining little baby that leaves crumbs everywhere?
Moreover, I was aware of the frightening number of couples for which the baby is the limit for their love and passion, and also the beginning of an end of a relationship…
Therefore, in 2012, I stared still when my proven fortune teller showed me my cards and said: “You have pregnancy cards…,” “And your partner has them, too…,” she continued.
I immediately started feeling anxious about what that could mean: the beginning of an end of a relationship, sacrificing my work that I enjoy so much… “And what would it bring to my life and relationship?” I asked myself sensibly.
What followed was as if someone had pulled the rug out from under me. Put simply, it was all positive. It would strengthen the relationship. It would strengthen me physically and mentally. My work would continue to flourish, I would have support and it wouldn’t be any big change. That it would be good also for my husband I knew without asking the cards…
Pedro didn’t make us wait too long. When Pavel asked me to marry him a few months later, I was moved and glad that I would not have to prove anywhere that the child was really mine if we had different surnames…
We chose our wedding date with the help of astrology – after all, even the Charles Bridge foundation stone was laid down on a date determined by an astrologer.
So that is the story of our wedding… and although the story of our relationship is much, much longer and dates back to the 1990s, it’s probably a good thing we haven’t started living together then. We both went through a lot and learned a lot.
I really admire couples who met in high school and are still together in their 50s. I bow before their ability to overcome difficulties and crises when they were 20+ and already had a few children squealing at home. That they did not close themselves in pain and did not live (for too long) parallel lives, or did not separate but over and over again, they opened their hearts to each other, nurtured their love and passion and kept getting to know each other time after time.
Pedro was born when I was 37, Olík a few years later. I had no idea how much love and joy they would bring to our life. Nevertheless, they are still normal, healthy children so despite how wonderful, sweet and loved they are, they regularly make us go nuts.
To sum up, I’m happy and grateful.
© Mgr. Denisa Říha Palečková, 2020
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